That bottle of delicious…bourbon. Brownest of the brown liquors…so tempting. What’s that? You want me to drink you?
-Lionel Hutz, The Simpsons
It’s not like we need another reason to enjoy whiskey. Neat, on the rocks, just a splash of water (the connoisseur’s preferred method), or mixed…it never fails. It goes great with steak, potatoes, veggies, breakfast, music, starry nights in the country, dive bars in the city, romance, a broken heart, good friends, and those times when all you want to hear is your own thoughts. It’ll get you drunk, laid, slapped, laughing, crying, and occasionally face down on the sidewalk.
Scottish scientists have discovered that compressed barley husks – used during the malting, germination, and mashing process that converts sugar into alcohol – have the ability to remove pollutants such as pesticides, benzene, and heavy metals from polluted water.
The team is hesitant to get into details on how the treatment system works until they have patents in place, but they says it works by binding pollutants in the water using the residue of husks after fermentation – called “draff” – to bind with and remove the pollutants in the water. The water is then supposedly clean enough to drink, removing about 95 percent of most contaminants in lab tests.
While this process is not exactly technologically superior to water treatment solutions that modern science has come up with, it sure beats the use of chemicals and other dispersants used in some regions of the world. Take a natural waste product that is usually thrown away and use it to clean up drinking water for millions of people? I’d call that clean tech progress for sure.
Be careful, though. This process is new and requires further testing before it can be reliably used without making your bassist hit on a transvestite, who, to be fair, had great legs and he never called her anyway after realizing his mistake.
Hungover from St Patties? Well drink it away at Long Wongs tonight at 930! We will be opening for our good friends Rare Monk hailing from Portland Oregon.
Check em out:
We of The Whiskey Treats aren’t only about helping people get drunk, dancing, and generally having a good time (although we’re all about that). We’re also all about the learnin’. So, grab a glass of your favorite rye (no shots this time…we’re being sophisticated (fine, you can do shots)), and pay attention, because you’ll sound really smart next time you’re drunk by the campfire with your wasted friends. Although, to be fair, everyone sounds smart then.
*** The Glenfidditch Rare Collection 1937, which sold for a paltry $71,000 in 2012, is one of the oldest whiskies in the world. At 75 years old, there are older bottles out there, but this whisky aged for a mighty 64 years before being bottled in 2001. There are older whiskies, but they don’t usually fetch quite such a high price.
*** The oldest whiskey, however, is the Mortlach 70 Year Old. Aged from 1938 to 2008 in a sherry cask, it’s a damn bargain compared to the GFC 1937, at only $15,000. That said, it’s sold in a decanter that looks slightly larger than a perfume bottle, so you might want to pick up a couple.
*** If you don’t like drinking cheap whiskey like the previous two, Glenfidditch also sold a bottle of their Janet Sheed Roberts Reserve 55 Year Old whisky for $94,000. Aged since 1955, this fine drink gets its name from the granddaughter of Glenfidditch’s founder. I’ll let you figure out her name. She aged well herself, passing on at 110, exactly twice the age of the whisky.
*** But the most expensive honor goes to a bottle of 64-year-old Macallan single malt. Granted, it was bottled in a fancy Lalique Cire Perdue decanter, which we must assume is quite amazing itself to have such a title, but this is not about glassware. The price? A modest $460,000 in 2010. Try before you buy, though — a Beverly Hills bar used to sell a single dram (that’s about a teaspoon) of this one for $64,000.
Now, you may be thinking, “Sure, these sound great, but I might be inclined to just save them and hold them for the prestige and honor.” Well, don’t get snooty on us. A bottle of Dalmore Single Highland Scotch sold for $58,000 in 2005 to an anonymous buyer, who then downed it with five of his friends.
To that man (and to everyone else), The Whiskey Treats would like to extend a solemn invitation to our next show, March 15 at Hollywood Alley. I can pretty much guarantee none of the whiskies mentioned here will be available, but you can’t put a price on a great time.
We’ll make sure this guy doesn’t show up, though. He’s no fun at all.
Class dismissed. Drink up!
Answer: One, then five, then one, then five, then one, then five, then one, then five…
Look, it’s funny if you get it.
Thanks to everyone who came out to Hollywood Alley last night, particularly our friends at Weed out the Weak, Scattered Hamlet, and Throb Zombie! That was a great show and if you missed it, you missed out. Your head might not hurt as much as mine, but you still missed out.
Ol’ Ben Franklin knows what’s up. Come on down to HOLLYWOOD ALLEY this SATURDAY and imbibe a micro-varmint free liquid of your choice. Clearly, we will be drinking whiskey (Chester prefers the rye for any lovely ladies with deep pockets), but the WT’s will happily smash glases with any patrons of alternative liquor species.
OK, gentlemen…you did it again, didn’t you? Waited too long and now you can’t get that fancy restaurant reservation she wanted. Don’t worry, we have you covered…just grab a big blanket or two, a bottle of wine (or two) and give her a bit of romance courtesy of The Whiskey Treats. Don’t say we never did anything for you!
Alternately, if you’re spending this one alone, you can always head over to your local watering hole and try this line…but, results not guaranteed.
Well, we certainly had fun over at Pub Rock last night. What a great line up! Heard some fiddle tunes from Tall Tale Excursion, some great country rock from the American Longspurs, and the always soulful blues from Mr. Mudd and Mr. Gold.
Doing it all again at Hollywood Alley soon! Come out to see us and we’ll happily sing you drinking songs, spill beer on your new shirt and try to dance with you girlfriend… well, at least one of those. It has been rumored that Chester is quite the dancer.
Some reel from last night: